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(Contains: sexual themes)
Dear neighbors having sex,
if you move the bed like that,
you’ll prolly wind up screwing
on the ground.

Sticks and stones
may break my bones,
but I think you’re breaking his
judging by the kind of
sounds he’s making.

Alright, I’m slightly jealous
that you’re getting more than me.
But more than crazy fornication,
I need sleep.

I know you think your room
is made of sound-proofed cinderblocks,
but really--
both your voice tend to carry.

All those manly moanings
sound so different every night,
Good for you!
It means you’ve caught so many!

If only you could catch them
while I wasn’t counting sheep.
So good luck,
and keep your banging quiet, please.
Good. Lord. The sexual themes tag has never been more relevant.
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Daily Deviation

Given 2013-03-06
Birds and Bees by *callerofcrows ( Featured by BeccaJS )
:iconhuffingtontheonly:
HuffingtontheOnly Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2013  Student Digital Artist
I'm sorry, but this is just damn funny. It sucks when it occurs, but... XD
Reply
:iconmotleydreams:
MotleyDreams Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Oh lordy this brings back freshman-year-of-college memories. AMEN, SISTER. Worst thing was not knowing who it was on our floor so you couldn't commiserate without fearing retribution. :ahoy:
Reply
:iconlastbattlelhu:
lastbattlelhu Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
HAAAAAAA! CLASSIC!
Reply
:iconcallerofcrows:
callerofcrows Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks!
Reply
:iconmista-heesh:
Mista-Heesh Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
XD Amazing!! Your style is perfection!! >w< Congratulations on the DD, always nice to see humorous pieces featured! ^u^
Reply
:iconcallerofcrows:
callerofcrows Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much! I really appreciate it. :D
Reply
:iconzcemex:
Zcemex Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2013  Student
Hilarious!
Reply
:iconcallerofcrows:
callerofcrows Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks!
Reply
:iconzcemex:
Zcemex Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2013  Student
:D I shouldn't really be reading that... oh well!
Reply
:iconi-moosker:
i-Moosker Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Hahah! I called up my one good guy friend, sent him the link, and made him read it, just to hear his smooth voice read the poem for me. It was so good! Nice!
Reply
:iconcallerofcrows:
callerofcrows Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Glad that you liked it, and that your friend was able to read it to you! :D
Reply
:iconvinceloring:
VinceLoring Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2013
i like it.
Reply
:iconcallerofcrows:
callerofcrows Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'm glad!
Reply
:iconespertortuga:
EsperTortuga Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
What's worse that hearing your neighbors having sex through the walls? Hearing your roommates having sex.

My brother was my roommate :stare:
Reply
:iconcallerofcrows:
callerofcrows Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
OH DEAR GOD. :iconohgodplz:
Reply
:iconespertortuga:
EsperTortuga Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
It was horror at its worst! :ohnoes:
Reply
:icongalactiacat:
GalactiaCat Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2013
LOL
I know them feels bro :stare:
Reply
:iconalexisann:
Alexisann Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2013
this comment. I cant even I am so sorry hahaha
Reply
:iconilovemyghostgirls:
ILoveMyGhostGirls Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Yes. Just... yes.
Reply
:iconcallerofcrows:
callerofcrows Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks! :D
Reply
:iconindiana-w:
indiana-w Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2013  Student Writer
My lover and I are guilty of being those noisy neighbors-good to see the perspective from the quiet ones' side ;p
Reply
:iconcallerofcrows:
callerofcrows Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Haha, glad you liked! :aww:
Reply
:iconapapp:
ApApp Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
So funny i love it!
Reply
:iconcallerofcrows:
callerofcrows Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks! I'm glad. :D
Reply
:iconkactress:
Kactress Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You should totally print this out, put it in an envelope, and tape it to their door. Then they'd get the message and you'd get a laugh too :)
Reply
:iconcallerofcrows:
callerofcrows Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I would, but I'm afraid of the backlash! They've gotten quieter, so no need to complain to them as of now. However, if they get noisy again, I'll tell them in person. :aww:
Reply
:iconhappenstances:
Happenstances Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Sorry
Reply
:iconcallerofcrows:
callerofcrows Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
For what? :)
Reply
:iconhappenstances:
Happenstances Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
being so noisy :P
Reply
:iconcallerofcrows:
callerofcrows Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Haha, doubt it was you, but thank you anyways. :)
Reply
:iconcaptainquirk:
CaptainQuirk Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2013
LOL at the situation from a distance, but oh you poor thing to have to hear that. O_O
Reply
:iconcallerofcrows:
callerofcrows Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Yep! A lot of times it's conducive to "MY EARS, THEY BLEED!" :iconnomegustamemeplz:

Other times I can stuff my head in the pillow and ignore them. I've debated retaliating by mimicking the noises but twice as loud, but will confront them in person if it gets bad again.

It's a funny story to tell, so as long as I'm not in the moment, it's fine. :lmao:
Reply
:iconindigo-serenade:
Indigo-Serenade Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Dohohohoho! I grin just reading this... we know we've all had that neighbour!
Grats on the DD; it's completely well-deserved! :squee: :heart:
Reply
:iconcallerofcrows:
callerofcrows Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Unfortunately, yes we have! Those that avoid it are lucky, though it does make for a good story to tell. :P

Thank you very much!
Reply
:iconindigo-serenade:
Indigo-Serenade Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Heh heh... not unless you accidentally tell it in front of that person or something! =P
Always welcome! :heart: :happybounce:
Reply
:iconphoenixleo:
phoenixleo Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2013
My ribs! :lmao:
Reply
:iconcallerofcrows:
callerofcrows Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Glad you liked!a
Reply
:iconphoenixleo:
phoenixleo Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2013
:ahoy:
Reply
:iconphoenixleo:
phoenixleo Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2013
I..what... wow o_O
Reply
:iconcallerofcrows:
callerofcrows Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Our reactions to the described situation are identical here. :P
Reply
:iconphoenixleo:
phoenixleo Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2013
:giggle:
Reply
:icongwendolyn12:
Gwendolyn12 Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
Sounds like you live in an apartament.:o
Reply
:iconcallerofcrows:
callerofcrows Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Close! College dorm.
Reply
:iconeliphasthedark:
Eliphasthedark Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2013
I love this
Reply
:iconcallerofcrows:
callerofcrows Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks! :D
Reply
:iconlennyb8000:
LennyB8000 Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
Hahaha. I had a lot of fun with this.
Reply
:iconcallerofcrows:
callerofcrows Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'm glad! :D
Reply
:iconjemapellefrancis:
JeMapelleFrancis Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2013  Student General Artist
oh callerofcrows xD You... this is great. -claps-
Reply
:iconcallerofcrows:
callerofcrows Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Aw, thank you! :D I'm flattered. :aww:
Reply
:iconjemapellefrancis:
JeMapelleFrancis Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2013  Student General Artist
You should be~ I've never seen a more 'eliquent' poem about the annoyance of neighbors havign sex... -sighs- or rant poems of that topic in general.
Reply
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Details

Submitted on
February 4, 2013
File Size
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Mature Content
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