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Hello everybody! I apologize in advance for a bit of a somber posting, but I feel like I owe an explanation to all of you beautiful people.
As many of you probably know from either knowing me personally or reading my work, I struggle with the lovely one-two punch combo of severe anxiety and moderate depression. Unfortunately, whether it's post-college stress or just brain-chemical soup, it's gotten much worse to the point of being nearly unmanageable.
If I've been less active or harder to reach here, this is why.
Anxiety/Depression isn't a constant cloud hanging over my shoulder, it's more like an annoying, squawking bird that decides sometimes it's going to escape from its cage and caw loudly into my ear until everything good is drowned out. There are good days, when I'm able to wrestle it back onto its perch and shut it up, and there are horrible days when I can't even lift my hand to try and catch it. Lately, the ratio has been five bad days for every good one, and that's not healthy.
I will still be around, and I will reply to comments and notes as soon as I can, but as I try to figure out the best treatment for what's going on, I may be more withdrawn than usual.
I love all of you that make up this community, and I feel bad that I've been more of a spectator than a participant. Know that I'm working on caging my birds and will be bumping around here and there.
As many of you probably know from either knowing me personally or reading my work, I struggle with the lovely one-two punch combo of severe anxiety and moderate depression. Unfortunately, whether it's post-college stress or just brain-chemical soup, it's gotten much worse to the point of being nearly unmanageable.
If I've been less active or harder to reach here, this is why.
Anxiety/Depression isn't a constant cloud hanging over my shoulder, it's more like an annoying, squawking bird that decides sometimes it's going to escape from its cage and caw loudly into my ear until everything good is drowned out. There are good days, when I'm able to wrestle it back onto its perch and shut it up, and there are horrible days when I can't even lift my hand to try and catch it. Lately, the ratio has been five bad days for every good one, and that's not healthy.
I will still be around, and I will reply to comments and notes as soon as I can, but as I try to figure out the best treatment for what's going on, I may be more withdrawn than usual.
I love all of you that make up this community, and I feel bad that I've been more of a spectator than a participant. Know that I'm working on caging my birds and will be bumping around here and there.
Summer, and an Update
Summer has officially begun, but that has yet to sink in. We're currently finishing moving apartments, and my life has been nothing but boxes. Boxes to pack, move, unpack, check-off, and mark down. Grades to input, goodbyes to say, adjustments to make, and traditions started. It has been a whirlwind of a year, and as usual, I'm a bit of a wreck coming out of it. The end of the year, distance learning or not, always feels like pushing the accelerator pedal down to the floor then slamming on the breaks in full. I've been alternating between relief and anxiety. I think I've cried each day for the past week, but it's cathartic. The good news, here, is that when I'm not unpacking and making this new place feel like home, I'll be here reading y'all's works, commenting on them, and trying to get back into the one-poem-a-week routine. What are you proud of creating recently? Is there a particular piece you want feedback on? Any pieces by other deviants that you think need a little more
Quaran-time
I hope everyone is doing alright as things have been getting crazier and crazier. I'm hoping that distance learning will allow me to write more, but it seems just as draining--if not more so--than being in the classroom. I'm going to start writing on the weekends again! A poem a week is my goal, just to keep my creative brain going. I always feel bad when I don't check in here for a while, too. I logged in one day to see I had gotten a DD and am just now trying to keep up with thanking people for the congratulations they've given. I promise I'm not a terrible person--just overwhelmed!
Winter Break and a pending feature!
Hello everyone!
Sorry that it's been radio silence over here for a bit. As y'all know, I'm a teacher. Things have picked up like CRAZY this school year, which means lately my weekends have been spent primarily asleep. I help with our school's choir and co-lead the robotics team, so life has been very...rapid-fire. Currently, it feels like I'd been driving at 80 mph and just slammed on the breaks. My mental health doesn't always do so great during insane schedules, and often doubles-down when the insane schedule suddenly stops.
That being said, I know one of the most rejuvenating things that I can do these next 2 weeks will be to catch up wi
Autumn Miscellany and Prompts
Autumn, particularly the month of October, is my favorite time of year. I'm not big on Halloween so much--could always kind of take it or leave it--but I absolutely love the coziness that comes with soft lights, candles, and the hearth. The sky even looks like it's a different shade of blue, some days, and I love it. I've recently learned a new word, hygge, (pronounced HOO-gah) which is a Danish word for the atmosphere created by coziness and closeness. Hygge is quickly becoming the cornerstone for my life, and it's comforting and grounding when so much seems hectic and uncertain.
And now for prompts! These are a few lines/concepts that have
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Praying for you! I also deal with a little bit of depression and anxiety. Hug!